Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
