Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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