dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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