She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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