can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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