I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
