Got a toothbrush?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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