Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
