i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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