Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize