Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
