did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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