You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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