Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
