Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
