Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So apparently I’m into choking now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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