so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
