the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
