But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
