It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
