he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
