we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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