I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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