dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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