3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
