Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
