maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
