Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
