Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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