im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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