he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize