did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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