Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
