I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
