so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
