he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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