You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
