i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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