He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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