i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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