he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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