shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
