Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
