Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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