i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
