Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
