If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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