I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
