I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Everyone says I win the strip club
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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