And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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