I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
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Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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