I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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