How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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