need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
