what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
