No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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