Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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