i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
