and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
