pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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