it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
