I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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